Call Your Mother
As columnists, we appear before you twice a week on these pages as simple bylines, but, yes, even columnists have mothers. And in my case, much of the outlook that infuses my own writings was bred into me from my mom. So, for once in 13 years, I’d like to share a little bit about her.
My mom was gripped by dementia for much of the last decade, but she never lost the generous “Minnesota nice” demeanor that characterized her in her better days. As my childhood friend Brad Lehrman said to me at her funeral: “She put the mensch in dementia.”
My mom’s life spanned an incredible period. She was born in 1918, just at the close of World War I. She grew up in the Depression, enlisted in the Navy after Pearl Harbor, served her country in World War II, bought our first house with a G.I. loan and lived long enough to play bridge on the Internet with someone in Siberia.
For most of my childhood, my mom appeared to be a typical suburban housewife of her generation, although I knew she was anything but typical. She sewed many of my sisters’ clothes, including both of their wedding dresses, and boy’s suits for me. And on the side, she won several national bridge tournaments.
My mom left two indelible marks on me. The first was to never settle for the cards you’re dealt. My dad died suddenly when I was 19. My mom worked for a couple of years. But in 1975, I got a scholarship to go to graduate school in Britain and my mom surprised us all one day by announcing that she was going, too. I called it the “Jewish Mother Junior Year Abroad Program.”
Most of her friends were shocked that she wasn’t just going to play widow. Instead, she sold our house in little St. Louis Park, Minn., and moved to London. But what was most amazing to watch was how she used her world-class bridge skills to build new friendships, including with one couple who flew her to Paris for a bridge game. Yes, our little Margie off to Paris to play bridge. She even came to see me in Beirut once, during the civil war — at age 62.
The picture of her in Beirut makes me think back in amazement at what my mom might have done had she had the money to finish college and pursue her dreams — the way she encouraged me to pursue mine, even when they meant I’d be far away in some crazy place and our only communications would be through my byline. It’s so easy to overlook — your mom had dreams, too.
My mom’s other big influence on me you can read between the lines of virtually every column — and that is a sense of optimism. She was the most uncynical person in the world. I don’t recall her ever uttering a word of cynicism. She was not naïve. She had taken her knocks. But every time life knocked her down, she got up, dusted herself off and kept on marching forward, motivated by the saying that pessimists are usually right, optimists are usually wrong, but most great changes were made by optimists.
Six years ago, I was in Israel at a dinner with the editor of the Haaretz newspaper, which publishes my column in Hebrew. I asked the editor why the newspaper ran my column, and he joked: “Tom, you’re the only optimist we have.” An Israeli general, Uzi Dayan, was seated next to me and as we walked to the table, he said: “Tom, I know why you’re an optimist. It’s because you’re short and you can only see that part of the glass that’s half full.”
Well, the truth is, I am not that short. But my mom was. And she, indeed, could only see that part of the glass that was half full. Read me, read my mom.
Whenever I’ve had the honor of giving a college graduation speech, I always try to end it with this story about the legendary University of Alabama football coach, Bear Bryant. Late in his career, after his mother had died, South Central Bell Telephone Company asked Bear Bryant to do a TV commercial. As best I can piece together, the commercial was supposed to be very simple — just a little music and Coach Bryant saying in his tough voice: “Have you called your mama today?”
On the day of the filming, though, he decided to ad-lib something. He reportedly looked into the camera and said: “Have you called your mama today? I sure wish I could call mine.” That was how the commercial ran, and it got a huge response from audiences.
So on this Mother’s Day, if you take one thing away from this column, take this: Call your mother.
I sure wish I could call mine.
wild at heart
“Deep in his heart, every man longs for a battle to fight, an adventure to live, and a beauty to rescue.”
Wild at Heart, John Elderidge
God asks us to remember …
The east face of the Washington Monument reads “Laus Deo,” which is Latin for “Praise be to God.” It is just one of numerous inscriptions on Washington, D.C. monuments that point to America’s founding on Judeo-Christian principles. Ravi Zacharias continues to remind us the value of remembering our need for God.
“God asks us to remember … I don’t know what you have in your homes to remind you of what God has done, [but] keep those memories.”
- Ravi Zacharias
Source: Focus on the Family
oaktree or squash?
When James Garfield (later President of the U.S.) was principal of Hiram College in Ohio, a father asked him if the course of study could be simplified so that his son might be able to go through by a shorter route. “Certainly,” Garfield replied. “But it all depends on what you want to make of your boy. When God wants to make an oak tree, He takes a hundred years. When He wants to make a squash he requires only two months.”
We are producing too many squashes and not enough oak trees in our day.
Angus J. MacQueen.
leadership quotes
“It is not the critic who counts, not the man who points out how the strong man stumbled or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena … who-at the worst- if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly.”
Teddy Roosevelt
Dale Carnegie – “Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.”
no 9 of Fortune’s "The 25 People We Envy Most"
Rick Warren
Title: Pastor, bestselling author
Age: 51 Why we envy: Ultra-connected. Biz cred.
Look, if anyone is going to heaven, it’s this guy. Saddleback Church, which he founded in his living room in 1980, is now a 120-acre campus with an average weekend attendance of 21,000. His book The Purpose-Driven Life has sold over 25 million copies and is among the bestselling nonfiction hardcovers in U.S. history. Apart from the Rolling Stones, not many middle-aged white guys can fill a stadium with adoring fans, but Warren can, and his are actually sober. The most influential evangelical since Billy Graham preaches in Hawaiian shirts and sandals. As if that weren’t enough: Warren gives away 90% of his income. And he’ll never wake up wondering if his job has meaning.
Fortune, October 17th, 2005 issue
After reading that article the night before, I asked myself again and again “What my purpose driven life will look like after business schools?” Hmmmm, I don’t have the answer yet! =)
Do you have yours already?
In the mean time, I came across other stories of Rick Warren:
- His office, at the request of Pentagon officials, is planning t o ship copies of the book to the troops in Iraq.
- His focus now will be to assist pastors in Third World countries as well as those woh pastor while holding down a second job
- The success of his book, along with that of Mel Gibson’s movie “The Passion of the christ” indicates the world thirsts for a better relationship with God.
- Warren headed for Washington where he had been invited to speak to the U.S. Senate.
- Warren talked about being a fourth-generation pastor who simply believed in the Word and in serving God. “My dad never pastored a church larger than about 75 people at one time,” he said. “So for 20 years, all I’ve done is train pastors of local churches. I’ve never wanted to be a celebrity.”
- Despite his enormous success, Warren refused to put his church services on television or radio. It’s not about him, he said; it’s about God.
- He and his wife became “reverse tithers” meaning they give 90 percent of their earnings to the church and live on 10 percent.
- Lastly, Warren said “There’s only one reason for an awakening-it’s all about God.”
Tom Landry
Tom Landry is the former coach of Dallas Cowboys and he served on the Dallas Theological Seminary board. He was a humble man of quiet strength and dignity, and when he chose to say something, an entire room would stop and lean in to hear what he had to say.
Once during a breakfast with a group of men, Coach Landry was asked how he was able to forge individual players into a team so that they would win — something he managed to do for twenty-plus years. His answer was unforgetable. The table grew silent as he paused for a moment and then said, “My job is to get men to do what they don’t want to do in order to achieve whatthey’ve always wanted to achieve.”
The something that those men wanted to achieve was a victory at the Super Bowl. What they didn’t want to do was the grueling work it would take to get them there. Achieving anything requires discipline–determined, deliberate, definable actions with a clear goal in mind. A good coach helps the team achieve its goal by outlining the exercises and motivating the players to stick to the plan. Facilitating and encouraging discipline in order to win, that’s what coaching is all about.
(typed in from a letter of the Monthly Partners Friends of Insight for Living)
six basic spiritual needs
George H. Gallup, Jr. says research indicates six basic spiritual needs that people share. He encourages churches to consider these needs and meet them.
1. The need to believe that life is meaningful and has a purpose.
2. The need for a sense of community and deeper relationship.
3. The need to be appreciated and respected.
4. The need to be listened to and heard.
5. The need to feel that one is growing in the faith.
6. The need for practical help in developin a mature faith.
The Holiday (story forwarded by my sunday school teacher)
The Holiday
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In Florida, an atheist became incensed over the preparation for Easter and Passover holidays and decided to contact the local ACLU about the discrimination inflicted on atheists by the constant celebrations afforded to Christians and Jews with all their holidays while the atheists had no holiday to celebrate.
The ACLU jumped on the opportunity to once again pick up the cause of the godless and assigned their sharpest attorneys to the case. The case was brought before a wise judge who after listening to the long, passionate presentation of the ACLU lawyers, promptly banged his gavel and declared, “Case dismissed!”
The lead ACLU lawyer immediately stood and objected to the ruling and said, “Your honor, how can you possibly dismiss this case? Surely the Christians have Christmas, Easter, and many other observances. And the Jews–why in addition to Passover they have Yom Kippur and Hanukkah… and yet my client and all other atheists have no such holiday!”
The judge leaned forward in his chair and simply said, “Obviously your client is too confused to know about, or for that matter, even celebrate the atheists’ holiday!”
The ACLU lawyer pompously said, “We are aware of no such holiday for atheists, just when might that be, your honor?”
The judge said, “Well it comes every year on exactly the same date – April 1st!”
The fool says in his heart, “There is no God.”
Psalm 14:1, Psalm 53:1
Can Octopus
one of my favorite examples of creativite ideas:
Can Octopus, a winner of arrangement on canned food donation shown on New York Times
